Hi Friends!

I'm writing over here now.
This blog has been such an integral part of my college experience!
Thank you all for sticking with me for such a long time.
I'd love it if you'd join me at my new place.
Love,
Natalie

(In case the link above doesn't work: http://inchaptertwenty.blogspot.com)

Steeped

Have you ever let a cup of tea steep for too long? I have. The result is bitter, foul tasting, and altogether unpleasant. I have been thinking recently that life’s difficulties are so numerous that life becomes saturated with them. This season has been yet another time of learning how to take my anxious, sorrow filled heart to the only One who can soothe the ache. From the personal, internal struggles to the many heavy problems my extended family is facing I am learning a new type of surrender. And I find that through this time I have not only been steeping in heartache, but also in peace and joy. I hope the result of my experience is not bitter, foul tasting, and altogether unpleasant but rather, sweet, humble, and ultimately joyful.
How fitting that this is one of my favorite verses:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.


James 1:2-6

Study food

This weekend has been such a reprieve from the scattered busyness that seems to consume most my days. I've stayed in, done massive quantities of homework, and cleaned; all the while wearing sweats and a sweatshirt with my hair up in a messy bun and a tribal looking headband to keep it all out of sight. Yeah, it’s been awesome.
Anyway, that’s beside the point I actually set out to make in this post. And that point is: FOOD!

Here's a list of the food that's been powering my studying brain this weekend. {For better or for worse.}

My life lately {In a nutshell}

This post brought to you by Natalie's non-contemplative side.

I've just spent an hour or so too much time going through my blogs from the past. It's always fun to go back to the beginning of this blog {which was the summer after I finished high school} and think of all that I have experienced since then. It's kind of a mind trip.
Anyway, I've noticed that recently I've been so contemplative on my blog that I haven't been very real. And, I think that years down the road I'll want to remember the blog-worthy events of my life too! Not just the blog worthy {or so I think} thoughts.

So here are some random bullet points from my life in the last couple months:

• I have 21 units this semester.
• 3 of which are an internship through the City and the Housing Authority.
• I live VERY simply because I only make enough money each week to fill my gas tank.
• I enjoy taking back roads and side streets through Chico so I can sing a little longer before I reach my destination.
• I'm learning the art of cuponing. {I'm not even close to those crazy TLC people though.}
• I spend gazillions of hours reading for classes. Sometimes I feel like my brain will explode.
• My 6:30am Bible study started back up again. LOVE IT.
• I discovered I don't like doing quantitative research. {yuck.}
• I actually like protein shakes now, as long as they're chocolate flavored.
• For fun, I've taken to hanging out at a secluded park with my Tommy Bahama beach chair, coffee, and a book of my choosing.
• I've discovered that Wilkie Collins is a fascinating and gripping storyteller.
• I find painting my nails to be a fun and brainless way to take a quick study break.

I really meant it when I said that this list would be random.

A therapy session in Five Minutes: {Growth}

Burdened with the depravity of humanity I enter my classes day after day. Political Science is not for the faint of heart, it’s a wonder I chose this course of study. When I try to remember my logic, it escapes me. What was I thinking!?

Then I remember Who ordains my steps, Who wills the direction of my path.

No, I am in this field for a reason. It may just be that my purpose here is to be salt and light in this place. Many people with whom I have daily interaction speak boldly, harshly against all that I stand for. Who don’t even know that I am one of “the others” in that group of humans they seem to so disdain. Yet, though I am affronted continually by their cutting words, I leave classes day after day with a heart burdened not only for humanity in general, but for the people Strategically Placed in my sphere of influence. My prayer is to be wise in my words and deeds with Christ as my momentum.

This is a season of growth.


Linking up over here:






Post Script:
I do want to assure any readers that my references here do not reflect my thoughts on one side of the political spectrum or the other. I speak from my experiences thus far at a public State University and would likely hold true in many fields of study in this era of “post-christian” secularism.

When I’m in a different place: a reassurance

This season of life: full of newness, growth, maturity, knowledge, and possibility also marks the passing away of a long-held group mentality. Relationships are no longer based on age. On school. On grade. Relationships are no longer based on gender. On youth group. On extracurricular activities. This type of peer group is a thing of the past. Relationships are made of different stuff now.

Though I’m in a different place than many of those I love, I am yet surrounded by a network of relationships which are not breaking because of differences in situation. Indeed, they are in the process of becoming deeper, stronger.

Bodega Bay over Labor Day

Last weekend my Aunt and Uncle rented a house in Bodega Bay and invited Adria and me along. We spent the weekend eating delicious sea-inspired meals, drinking coffee, reading, playing pool, assembling puzzles, and walking on the beach.
The weather was cool, overcast, and misty: a nice change for us!

From Bodega Bay

Dramatically jumping out of the wave's path :-)

To blog or not to blog: my (tentative) decision.

It has been more than a month since my last post, and a lot (!) has happened in that time. I’ve thought about this blog off and on. Some days I felt that I should just pull the plug [excuse my disgusting metaphor] and at other times I felt I would regret that action.


It is strange how attached I’ve become to my writing, flaws and all!


My decision, therefore, is NOT to scrap the blog but to see if I can possibly enhance it. [**Insert feelings of insecurity here**]


Here’s my dilemma: I need a job something fierce. And as I’m a senior in college this year my classes are set up strangely. I have morning classes, afternoon classes, and evening classes nearly every day, which doesn’t bode well for finding employment. On top of all that, there’s a good chance I will need to find an internship this semester which will fill up any possible time for work.


Ah, the college life. Such a frustrating flexible time in life!
SO I’ve been brainstorming. I’ve thought of some ways to possibly improve my blogging and perhaps make it into a small source of revenue eventually. If you have any suggestions, my inbox and comment section are COMPLETELY at your disposal. . . I can use all the help I can get.


Love,
Natalie

Comically Sweet

“I'll Be There For You” by Louise Cuddon:

I'll be there, my darling, through thick and through thin
When your mind's in a mess and your head's in a spin
When your plane's been delayed, and you've missed the last train.
When life is just threatening to drive you insane
When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page
When somebody tells you, you're looking your age
When your coffee's too cool, and your wine is too warm
When the forecast said, “Fine,” but you're out in a storm
When your quick break hotel, turns into a slum
And your holiday photos show only your thumb
When you park for five minutes in a resident's bay

And return to discover you've been towed away
When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste
Just stick on your hips and don't reach round your waist
When the food you most like brings you out in red rashes
When as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashes
So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear...
When you break a rule, when you act the fool
When you've got the flu, when you're in a stew
When you're last in the queue, don't feel blue
'cause I'm telling you, I'll be there.

Still

I know, I’ve been absent for a while. Something about summer makes my creative writing abilities just go caput. I’ve been on a blogging break, but I’m hoping to ease myself back into this hobby that I love.
I’ll start by linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama and the (in)courage community for a five minute post.

The rules: write without worrying about anything. period.
The prompt: Still

ANDDDD begin:

I am a blessed one. I grew up in church. I have a loving and rather functional family. I went to church camp. And some of my family’s closest friends were met through church. My high school youth group was thriving and active during the years I was involved. I've had excellent spriritual guidance through college. In all, I’ve had an excellent spiritual foundation.

But I am still a sinner.
I still make bad choices.
I still have incorrect attitudes.
I’m still selfish.
And, I still mutter curses under my breath when someone makes me really mad on the freeway. *gasp*

Basically, I am still not perfect. And to be honest, I’m ashamed to admit that at one point in my life, I thought I would be able to attain perfection.

However, I know that despite my many failings, I still have value.
God can still use my measly little abilities to further His Kingdom.

END

Thoughts

Perhaps the reason human life is so constantly in flux is to exemplify the only true constant: God's unchanging love for us and the relationship he makes possible through his son, Christ.

Thank you Lord, for all the changes in my life.

Home

“Home is where the heart is,” they say. To which I reply:
“What if my heart is made up of thousands of pieces scattered all over the world? And what if I find that all the pieces of my heart aren’t in existence in this world at all?”

I find the term “home” a difficult one to make my own.

Odd

The maturation process is a strange one. I can long for future stages in life and be reduced to tears over a fond childhood memory in the course of one short conversation. Though I’ve never been prone to violent or prolonged mood-swings, I do find myself with growth-induced emotional whiplash fairly often these days.

Words of Wisdom

It's funny how difficult it is to find the time to blog when I'm on vacation. Yes, it's actually much easier to blog when I'm in school full time. Why? I suppose it is because I am already in the swing of writing constantly.  This doesn't mean that my mind isn't engaged while I'm on vacation. Quite the contrary, actually.

Anyway, here is a link to a 5-minute video with some great advice about marriage. Even though I have not entered this state yet, I still find this message valuable in shaping my understanding of the marriage covenant.

Piper, Carson, and Keller on Sustaining the Covenant of Marital Love

When the Jasmine Blooms

. . . and you can't take your nose out of it long enough to get anything productive done. . .

my solution is to make a "jasmine" chain. And wear it on your head. All day long.

It's Summer.

Five Minute Friday: Deep Breath

Linking Up with Lisa-Jo for a five-minute post. No edits, no revisions, no worries. Love this!
Inspiration: "Deep Breath"

Flurries of papers: a student’s output. Question of how to be creative, original, unique, and correct – to give them what they want. In order to get what I want: the ‘A.’
I grow weary of the input and output of education. Of learning the ways of the world, and analyzing.

Always analyzing.

Seventeen weeks of tunnel vision: focus, focus, focus on the light at the end. The little glimmer of hope that whispers “well done, relax, it’s summer.”
I am almost there. I can make it. Through all the coffee, all the late nights with my nose in a book, all the underlining, highlighting, ‘copying’ and ‘pasting,’ quoting, and citing. Through all the tears, and bleary-eyed interactions, impromptu speeches, and late-night library visitations. I am almost there.


Deep Breath. . .

Motherhood should come with. . .

A post in five minuts. {Okay, it actually took me about 15.} A post that is free of edits/revisions/and too much analysis. A post that reflects my "gut reaction" to the writing prompt:
"Motherhood should come with. . ."

Motherhood should come with an award showcase. To enclose and display the honors bestowed on her by the three children she has raised/is raising well.
Awards that commend her patience with children who have minds of their own. Her patience with the whiplash of their ever-changing dreams and expectations for their futures. Patience with dishes and laundry and all the other tasks which motherhood imposes upon her in large proportions. Patience with the late-night phone calls: the tears and ramblings on the other end.

Awards that commend her presence. For working all throughout my life, yet never being an absent parent. For choosing to attend all the dance rehearsals, and soccer games, and baseball games, and parent teacher meetings, and award ceremonies instead of catching a much-needed nap or accomplishing another task that was waiting for her.

Awards that commend her example to her children and to the scores of students who she’s influenced throughout the years. Her example of faith in the Lord, her example of what it means to be a wife, her example of how to pull harmless pranks (:-)), her example of how to give of oneself.

(Yes, I know it's Saturday. Better late than never!)

Slow Me Down

Grafted

A rosebush has been dormant along the front walkway all winter. Sure, I’ve trimmed it back a time or two when it began to hang over the footpath with its daunting thorns, but overall it has gotten very little care. I have spent practically no contemplative power on this plant in the course of my residence here {It’s just a plant after all, and as I’ve been a desert dweller nearly all my life, plants don’t really hold importance in my day-to-day thinking - unless of course they’re gargantuan tumble weeds that happen to be rolling across the dusty two lane highway in front of my small commuter car – but I digress.}  Now, the roses are in bloom and to my astonishment it is a rosebush with two distinct varieties of roses growing from the same series of roots.  Upon making this discovery I began to think of the passage in Romans 11, in which Paul speaks of gentiles as having been grafted into the “olive tree” of faith in the Lord -- A faith which is now available to anyone who will make it their own by the shed blood of Jesus Christ.  

 I am thankful for this beautiful metaphor of God’s love and Christ’s sacrifice which stands to greet me every time I pass through my front door.

Worry {Be Gone}

"Fretting springs from a determination to get our own way!" {Oswald Chambers}

"The strong hands of God twisted the crown of thorns into a crown of glory; and in such hands we are safe." {Charles Williams}

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength."{Corrie Ten Boom}

"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."{George Muller}